Business Performance Coaching

Part One of a little yarn

Now let me explain something, it’s not that I’m competative by nature (friends wipe that smirk off your faces!) but my gorgeous wife is pregnant and in the early days of the pregnancy she only put on a small amount of weight and very little on the tummy; being the supportive husband that I am I felt the need to go out in sympathy with her and grow my own tummy.

The problem I was having was I was winning the race, couldn’t believe how easy it was, hold up on the excercise add a chippy once a week and add the odd Big Bikki (ginger crunch flavour – hmmm yum!) most working days and wella 10kgs later I over take Kirsty (by 8kg’s).  To stop these alternative thoughts you may be having, I am no Thomas Beatie (truth be said, Thomas Beatie really isn’t Thomas Beatie – for those of you who don’t know who I’m talking about, google the name!!) but I was starting to look like it.

Being in my late 30′s and obviously thinking about having a mid life crisis (not that I’m any where near my mid life of course!!) it started getting to me that I could no longer fit into my work trousers, I looked like one of them tourists with their bum bag around their waste and my shirt buttons are starting to strain so having proved my point that I can win anything if I put my mind to it I phoned up my friendly council gym, Pioneer Leisure Centre and booked one hour with an instructor to give me a weight loss program.

Having blamed my work for not getting to the gym in the early evening and being freshly motivated I booked this appointment for 6.30am as this was going to be my new training time I drive the two minutes to the gym (come on, what do you mean lazy, I need my energy for the work out!!) and I am met by Jamie, towering head and shoulders over me and very obviously an active person waiting patiently to put me through my paces.  Being the Scottish individual that I am, I went in their to get as much out of the session as I could, after all I had just paid a small fortune for the next 3 months, at this point all I’ll say is “be careful what you wish for!!”.

What a site at 6.30am !!!

Having asked me whether I prefer weights or cardio machines and my answer being weights, he puts me on a cardio exercise program with not an exercise bicycle or cross trainer in site and he appeared to be excited at the prospect (I’m sure all personal trainers are reincarnated Drill Sergeant’s).  So the exercise begins, first off Fat Man Chin Up’s a very PC term for an exercise that is like a reverse bench press followed immediately by push ups until failure and let me tell you failure inevitably ends up with your face planted in the floor, great look!!  This then is followed swiftly by squats and lunges, at this point the cardio has kicked in, gone into over drive, my heart is looking for a way to get home with out me and my lungs seem to think they need to be twice the size ……………….. bugger me I’m only half way through!!!

At this point Jamie is looking incredibly pleased with himself, I am starting to see how it is that he can get up at this awful time of the day, I would to if I could watch over weight 30 somethings thinking they are 20 somethings try to look as if they can cope with what you’re throwing at them (hmm maybe I was a Drill Sergeant in a past life).  Anyway I degress, off now to punish the shoulders, then go back to squats (no weight, except my weight) mixed with step ups on a rather large step, bugger me here’s my heart again frantically trying to escape but this time my lungs have given up the ghost and are following my heart out the door, then Jamie says “what do you normaly do for your abs” christ I thought, the worst is still to come.  I take a minute to run off to the water fountain to give myself a well earned rest just to come back to Jamie lying on the floor holding a barbell arms extended (as if he was half way through a bench press) when he lifts his feet off the ground and starts dropping his legs to the side, when I’m watching this I am thinking of one thing only will I spew over him or run off to the toilets, I wasn’t feeling flash at all!!!

Politely declining the offer of trying this ab work out for Bruce Lee (now there’s a flash from the past) I explain I’m feeling a bit queasy, he sits me down gets me more water then puts this entire workout to paper just in case I might forget, now you might be thinking the worst is over until I come back tomorrow, well that’s what I thought but boy was I wrong ………..

The second part of this little yarn will be published next week see you then!!