Business Development Specialist

Now I’m a fairly mild mannered janitor and little gets me really angry but I have to say a couple of weeks ago and found myself suffering from Trolley Rage at my local super market …….. let me explain!

Not that I’m trying to make excuses for my [then] foul mood but my day started at some god awful time in the morning around 4.30am when my [normally] wonderful 8 week old son wakes me up with a couple of good ear splitting screams, apparently he was getting all pissy because mum interrupted his early morning breakfast to wind him – mental note mum – DON’T interrupt our son when he’s feeding, like his father he gets rather upset – it’s a blokey thing!!!

Anyway, I manage to get another couple of ours before getting up to get on with the usual Saturday chores, you know the ones, washing, hoovering, gardening (grass cutting week this week) and oh yes almost forgot the dreaded supermarket shop!!  Now in days not long past my wife and I would go and do the food shopping together, neither of us liked the job but we would often have a laugh when we both went but since little Lachlan arrived into this world and mum has been recovering from that traumatic arrival it has been down to me to get the food.

It’s early afternoon (mistake number one), what was I thinking, every man and his dog (sorry, I should say every granny and her trolley) are out shopping at this time of day, but it would be okay I brought along my MP3 player, yes that’s right people I have an MP3 player I have up until now resisted buying an iPod although I have to say I would love an iPhone … sorry I deviate … focus!  So I put on my MP3 player (mistake number 2) and march into the super market like a man on a mission, I grab a trolley but unbeknown to me it has a dodgy front wheel, had I not had my music on I would have realised this straight away cause it was the one with the proverbial squeaky wheel and it stuck intermittently!!

I get through the fruit and veg section at the start, turn into the second aisle, nothing, no fizzy drinks, no just juice, no V8 fruit and veg juice (it’s nice try it!!), I’m thinking great, it’s a busy Saturday afternoon and some idiot has decided to re-merchandise the store, hello, someone needs to take my course on Prioritising Your Day because a big re-merchandising move on one of the busiest days of the week really is not a priority!!!

All was not lost I found what I was looking for on the next aisle, but what used to be there, oh no I can’t remember I knew at this point I was going to forget things and there was no way my wife was going to believe they changed the store round (the fact that the shopping list was still on the fridge was definitely going to work against me), never mind press on.

Now I often look at the younger generation and think, your ears are going to be shot by the time you’re my age why?  They all, almost without exception walk round in their own little world with there music blasting in their ears and now I know how that felt, it was okay, I’m walking down the baked bean aisle and I’m hoping I’m not singing out load “… down at the bottom of a pit in a blazing storm, torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike…” (10 points if you can name that song!!) when I hear something for a split second I was going to dismiss it but that little voice in my head is shouting “pay attention”, I remove one of my ear pieces and this little old lady is trying to have a conversation with me, “have you found the tinned soup” she says, what tinned soup, don’t you know the best bit of the song is coming up, can’t you see I have things plugged into my ears which means go away I ain’t in a good mood!! …. “yes, they’re back there on the left” I said all the while my MP3 player is screaming “…. and I think some body, some where must be towing a bell…” (got it yet!).

I plug myself in having helped the old lady, feeling good that I helped her, feeling bad that I found her annoying and on I went, on to the aisle with the pasta, now parents listen up, if you think your child can drive a trolley and you let them, for crying out load keep an eye on them because tired, grumpy fathers pushing dodgy trolleys will mow them down like a rugby player, shunt them out the way or at the very least catch their heels!!  There is just no need to be taking up an entire aisle whilst you are deciding to go for twisted or shell shaped pasta!!

Several aisles later it’s getting to the end of my song, it’s building up to its finale “…like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone when the morning comes ..” (yes I know you knew), I’m thumping away lost in the moment when yet again, the same little old lady asks me something, I’m thinking, what’s wrong with you woman, can’t you see I am building up for the songs finale, cant’ you see I ….. steady, she just needs your help; “have you seen the bread son?”, bugger me she’s right I have come to the end of my shop and there is not a loaf in site, what is going on!!!  I replied “no sorry I haven’t maybe it is next to the bakery?” a logical place you might be thinking, but not in this store (normally) but today it WAS next to the bakery, right back at the entrance to the store , so off I trot back to the beginning trying to get through the till queues, they are like the Christchurch drivers, no-one ever gives way, sorry I wont get started on that subject!!!

I manage to get my bread, get through the tills and home, and yes I forgot my wife’s yoghurt for her cereal!!!

My therapy session since has gone well